


breakfast

by GeoffsEightGreatestMistakes



Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter/Funhaus RPF
Genre: Angst, Multi, Panic Attacks, Past Domestic Violence, past abusive relationships
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-03
Updated: 2016-07-03
Packaged: 2018-07-19 17:56:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,554
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7371835
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GeoffsEightGreatestMistakes/pseuds/GeoffsEightGreatestMistakes
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Even though Jon has been out of a highly toxic relationship for nearly four years (and happily in another for a year and a half), the effects of his five year relationship still lingers.</p>
            </blockquote>





	breakfast

**Author's Note:**

> Is it bad to say that I got inspired to write something while watching Jon’s series of silent-cereal eating videos? (I’ve also had a shit two weeks so maybe this is coming from my internal emotional build-up.) 
> 
> Inspired by Jon's [cereal eating videos](https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLXF88Protv1wLJilETCess9qSdFzHsMK4)

The kitchen was tense when Jon entered that morning. He could feel frustration radiating off of Miles, and stress and pent-up tension rolling off of Ryan’s shoulders. His two lovers had been bickering all last night about something dumb. Jon didn’t even remember- he had just come home from On The Spot to find his two boyfriends bickering at each other.

He wasn’t there for the start of the argument, and neither would tell him what was wrong. It didn’t help that Ryan wasn’t in bed due to stress-induced insomnia. That only made their little fight more tense since the two slept apart.

But Jon weakly smiles at his two boyfriends. He doesn’t know what to say- because no matter what he really says, somebody will take it as him picking sides. He doesn’t want that, so he remains Switzerland and just goes over to the counter and flicks on the coffee maker. The room is silent- just the sound of the coffee maker whirring as it heats up the water. Normally, silence in the morning would be a welcome thing. 

Miles would be showering at this time, Ryan wouldn’t be fully awake until he had drank something caffeinated, and Jon wasn’t bothered by not saying anything besides a soft ‘good morning’ that was paired with a gentle kiss. 

But the silence this morning made the room feel thick and like there was no air. It was horrible, and Jon was about to turn to face his boyfriends when he heard something slam against the table.

“Would you quit staring at me?” Ryan’s jaw was clenched, and Jon’s anxiety had skyrocketed. He already felt like he was getting worked up just by  _ standing  _ there, but now Jon felt his breathing go weird and his body still.

“ _ Would you quit staring at me _ ?” 

He could hear it perfectly. A deep tone that used to be so kind and sweet, turned harsh and unforgiving. He could remember the face that matched- dark brown eyes and thin, scowling lips. A body that was his height, but like this made Jon feel like he was the smallest man in the world. He remembered it perfectly.

“ _ You’re staring at me like I’m going to hurt you! _ ” The tone had turned to accusing. Making Jon feel guilty. 

_ “You are going to hurt me _ .” Jon would respond sometimes- he was feeling gutsy enough.

Jon could remember this conversation clearly. They were sitting in the kitchen, in his old apartment, before he had moved in with Miles and Ryan. His ex was sitting next to him at the table. They were side by side, elbow to elbow. Each had a bowl of cereal, doused with milk and a mug of coffee to go with. Their breakfasts were identical, but not their appearance.

Jon’s ex would be towering over Jon- despite sitting down. Jon had his shoulders hunched, and his head bowed. His eyes were focused on the last few bites of cereal that floated around in the milk. 

Next to him, he could feel his ex clench up with sudden anger.

_ “I’d only hurt you if you ever even  _ thought  _ about leaving. You’re mine and nobody elses’.”  _ His ex growled, hands clenched up into fists. He felt like reaching up and slapping Jon- like he had done before. 

Jon said nothing. He stayed still, because he knew that if he cowered or showed any sign of fear, his ex would only make it worse.

_ “Now shut up and eat your goddamn breakfast.” _

Jon remembers how every morning, he’d be forced to sit next to his ex. He would never feel comfortable; always wanting to get up and run as far and as fast as he could. He was never hungry when he sat next to the man. He was too scared and too stressed to think about eating. He would only eat when his ex would slam his fist on the table as a silent order to eat.

He was never hungry next to his ex. The man was terrifying.

“Jon?”

The voice was distant, like he was deep in a cave and the voice was echoing all around him. 

“What’s wrong?” 

The world was suddenly coming back into focus. The voice was sharper all of the sudden, and Jon blinked a few times to clear the fog in his eyes. The world came back into focus, and both of his boyfriends were in front of him.

They shared twin looks of concern, and Ryan had his arms around Jon’s waist- as if he was holding Jon up.

“What just happened?” The frustration was completely gone from Miles. Now it was filled with concern and confusion.

Ryan and Miles had been told months ago about Jon’s previous relationship. They didn’t know the gritty details, but they knew how five years with that man had left some terrible mental and physical scars. They knew the basics of what happened, and Jon thought that it was fortunate that he was with this man before he knew Ryan and Miles. They only saw the aftermath and him a year after being free from this.

But they’ve never seen him like this- curled up into Ryan’s chest, breathing harshly and shaking.

“Sh…” Ryan murmurs. “Give him a minute.”

Miles nodded slowly, and he stepped forward so he can curl an arm around Jon’s shoulders. Jon unknowingly flinched at first, but then leaned into the comforting touch.

It takes a few minutes for him to start to calm. His breathing starts to calm down, and while his hands are still shaking, he’s not vibrating in Ryan’s arms. The tension in his shoulders is melting away.

“What happened Jon?” Miles asks again. Jon’s eyes peek open, and he can see both of their concerned faces. Ryan has an idea of what happened- Miles too- but they don’t know what caused it or what Jon had panicked about.

“Flashback,” Jon’s voice is shaking and his eyes close once more. “I remembered him- and- and…”

Over Jon’s head, Miles and Ryan share a look. They know who Jon’s talking about. 

“What caused it?” Ryan asks. The question makes Jon pulled a pained look.

“Somebody slammed against the table- and  _ fuck _ \- I remembered him and sitting there, eating breakfast and him slamming against the table-” Jon’s babbling and getting worked up again. Tears are welling up in his eyes and he’s starting to shake again.

“He’d force me to sit next to him and eat,” Jon continues. “I hated it so much… He told me to eat or else- an-and I was never hungry.”

Miles and Ryan had known that Jon’s relationship with this stranger had started off so nicely, but right in the middle is when things got worse. They had been told this over a year ago, when things started to get serious and Jon decided that it was best that they knew.

Every once and awhile Jon mentions this relationship; shares a few details and small events before the conversation moves on. It’s never been this serious or long.

“It’s okay Jon,” Miles cups Jon’s cheeks, and their eyes meet. Miles’ eyes has tears in them too. “You don’t have to worry about him anymore. You have me and Ry and we’ll always love you.” 

“We’ll never be like him.” Ryan assures, and Jon nods a little. 

“I love you two so much,” Jon admits. It’s nothing that Ryan and Miles haven’t heard before, but this time it feels like it means something different.

“We love you too Jon.” Ryan brushes a few hairs out of Jon’s eyes.

They stand in silence for a minute, Jon covered by Ryan and Miles’ warmth. Jon can feel his panic start to fade. His hands still shake, but he can breathe without feeling like he’s suffocating.

“What happened?” Jon whispers. “That made you slam the table?”

“Something dumb.” Ryan murmured, leaning down to press a kiss into Jon’s unbrushed hair. He felt bad- he’s the one who yelled and slammed his palm against the table. “Miles and I were having some dumb silent fight- and I didn’t sleep at all last night…”

Miles frowned a little, looking like a guilty child as he nodded. “Yeah…”

Jon glanced up at Ryan, then over at Miles. 

“It’s okay,” Jon assured them. “This is the first… attack I’ve had in awhile. I’ve been doing really good about all of this lately, and you guys didn’t know.”

That makes Miles’ guilty look deepen. “That still makes me feel bad. We didn’t know and we set you off.”

“Can you tell us if something like this happens again? Promise?” Ryan asks.

Jon nods. “Of course… I guess you guys deserve to know. It’s been long enough..”

Miles’ guilty look melts away into a gentle smile. Ryan smiles too.

“I love you guys so much,” Jon repeats. “You’ve made the past two years the best two years of my life.”

Miles doesn’t say anything- he just kisses Jon for a few long seconds. 

When he pulls back, his smile is brighter. “We love you too.”

“And I hope that we make you happy for a lot longer than two years.” Ryan jokes softly, but underneath the smile, he’s serious.

“You guys definitely will.” Jon laughs softly, and his hands have finally stopped shaking. “I know you will.”

 

**Author's Note:**

> I’ve never been in a situation like this, so if I get a few things wrong please tell me! I want to make sure I’ve got my stuff right.
> 
> Also, hit me up on [tumblr](http://geoffs-8-greatest-mistakes.tumblr.com/) so you can send me prompts or poke me to get off my butt and write something.


End file.
